Private Storyline 2

[slowtoanger]

Things seem to stall for a month, or rather slip into a routine, a delicate balance that teters on the edge of a tension difficult to dissect.

Hamilton won't stop feeding Burr, stealing him bits of food, watching at mealtimes to ensure Burr eats some incomprehensible measure from the table.

Burr had tried to take advantage of the public nature of that tradition, to eat bare scraps while Hamilton glared, beneath Washington's gaze, but when they had been once again alone Hamilton had refused to leave until Burr embibed enough food to make his stomach ache.

His sickness eases, but does not vanish. Mornings bent low over a basin and heaving while Hamilton attempts to cover for him to an increasingly agitated Washington. Underperforming--that is what Washington says. Disgraceful. He thinks these morning spells of illness the results of intemperance with ale, no doubt.

But the nights--those are the worst. Because he cannot stop aching for them. For the moments when he can curl against Hamilton's skin, close his eyes and pretend it is another body, if only the scent were not so different.

Even if he is not Monty, Burr aches for those scraps of affection, clinging to him the way one might cling to a rock in a storming ocean. Grows terrified that Hamilton might leave as much as he tries to convince himself he does not need him. But the emotions, once allowed to be felt, cannot be easily stopped up again. It is too easy to find himself drifting towards Hamilton during the day. Wanting to touch him, be touched. Held. Perhaps even groomed, though the thought makes him blush with shame and embarrassment.

His bedroom becomes too comfortable, allows them to slip too close to intimacy. Burr had nearly cried, when Hamilton presented him that blanket. Not enough for a real nest, but enough to fuss with on the bed for long minutes, make something resembling a nest. Burr had lost everything, in the retreat from quebec--but at least now he had a blanket.

He can't look at Hamilton's face, each night he fusses with the bedding, every stereotype he every rallied against. Any inadequacy of that nest quickly erased by the warmth of Hamilton's body.

Too close to hide the swelling, the changes. Close as a lover. Burr doesn't think of what they are--can't. Takes these liberties as they are--stolen and shameful.

With all the food, the extra smuggled bits, Burr is starting to show. And his hunger isn't leaving, never sated, but he is growing ravenous, and each day the question of what to do is more and more urgent. Soon Hamilton won't let Burr put it off anymore, and what then?

For all of it, his worrying about propriety, he balks in the face of some lie. Burr's reputation matters, is vitally important, but at the same time, he cares not for manufactured conventions. Would have no problem being seen as a loose omega, if only he were established enough for such things to not ruin him.

Even so, he is nearly unable to fasten his breeches, and the skin around his stomach, stretched, begins to grow sores, from the too tight waistband, the chaffing. Built for soldiers losing weight, not gaining, and Burr has always been slight. He takes to binding his stomach, tight beneath bandages, but then he is wracked with cramps, which grow worse each day.

It doesn't occur to him that this might hurt the child, this last bit of Monty, which has grown so dear to him. Finds himself clutching his stomach unconsciously in stolen moments, on the verge of tears. Watches the rise and fall for long moments, in the morning and at night, as if at any moment the slight bump might disappear entirely.

Now he is dressing again, binding his stomach once more, to force himself into his breeches, another day of Washington's disappointment. Burr snorts--at least in this there is some bitter mercy--Washington probably thinks Burr is growing fat from drink, if he's noticed at all.

Comments

[non_stop]

Oh, he watches: and how. When Hamilton watches, he devours, consuming the lewd vision ahead of him with the same dangerous focus he brings to every obsession. And Burr is his obsession, now. There has never been anything so filthy and lovely, Hamilton is sure. It's filthy because of how completely Burr's composure has shattered; it's lovely even in Burr hurling himself into abasement.

Burr begins to come on his tongue, so quickly that Hamilton is stunned, almost forgetting to take advantage of it. But he catches Burr's wrist with one hand and holds his hand there, ensures he's in the right place to feel what Hamilton's about to do, and with the other hand sinks in two of his own fingers angled upwards, dragging them mercilessly along the clenching and spasming internal walls. His touch is possessive and proprietary, dragging out the length of that orgasm, forcing every spasm out, and making sure Burr knows exactly what Hamilton is doing to him.

And, at Burr's words, he laughs. He presses a soft (wet, filthy) kiss against Burr's knuckles, right where his fingers sink too shallowly into his body, just the way kissed Burr's hand not five minutes ago, before Burr flung himself headlong into wantonness.

"Why would I?" Hamilton returns. "Aaron," breathed against Burr's thigh, "why would I gag you when you say things like that?"

He releases Burr's wrist, undoing buttons with that hand, nudging Burr further onto the bed. Echoing the motion he made between Burr's legs, he slides the same two slick-soaked fingers into Burr's mouth, pressing down on his palate, making Burr taste his own arousal.

"Why would I bind you," and Hamilton has to swallow, moisten his dry throat, because, god, he cannot remain unaffected, "when I can watch you fuck yourself right here?"

Waistcoat and shirt, impatiently yanked off, and trousers undone; he doesn't take the time to divest with boots and stockings. If he doesn't get inside Burr absolutely right now, he might actually die.

"And why would I hit you," folding Burr's legs up and apart, pushing, pushing until he's straining under Hamilton, "when you're being such a perfect slut for me?" He takes himself in hand, rubs the almost-dripping head of his cock all along Burr's entrance, mingling them together. He lowers himself so his lips are at Burr's ear.

"You could have told me, Aaron," he admonishes. "Showed me how much you need it." He breaches Burr then, pausing as he feels Burr's entrance go tight just under the head of his cock. Just to enjoy the feeling. "I wouldn't have left you unsatisfied."

No more pauses, no going slow to let Burr grow accustomed to the stretch. Hamilton penetrates him fully, unyieldingly, sinking forward into the incredible silky heat of Burr's body. How Burr grips him, opens to him, clutches at him. He needs to knot this man. Can't help but be aware of the seed that has already taken root in Burr's fertile soil, and the thought does not diminish his enjoyment in the least.

[slowtoanger]

Burr laps greedily around the digits, hollowing his cheeks and sucking, bobbing his head forward to take more into his mouth, until they are pressing further than the base of the tongue, the edge of his throat. He flutters his eyelashes, gazes down at Hamilton, sat between his legs.

Hamilton seems as gone as Burr is, shedding layers with his other hand, eyes dark and cheeks red and seeming with every glance to drink Burr in. And his eyes, God his eyes, pupils blown wide, black eclipsing blue.

He talks, filthy, filthy things, that make Burr's muscles clench, attempting to clamp down on an intrusion that has not yet come. Hamilton has folded Burr open past the point of pain, but even still he weakly wiggles his hips, attempts to present himself more.

Hamilton rubs his cock along Burr's entrance, Burr shivering, thrusting his hips ineffectually, trying to spear himself.

"You could have told me, Aaron. Showed me how much you need it. I wouldn't have left you unsatisfied." Oh God, and he slips the head in then, leaves it there for Burr to clench around, trying desperately to fuck himself back but completely unable to move, and the fucking hasn't started yet in earnest but Burr feels on the verge of tears.

And then, without giving him time to adjust, Hamilton sinks down to the hilt. Burr jolts, shocked with pleasure, jerking beneath Hamilton as he is filled, digging nails into Hamilton's gloriously bare back, scraping.

Still clothed, pants opened just enough to free his cock, and Burr angles his head down, looks at where they joined, at where Hamilton is disappearing into him, and the sight is enough to send delightful spasms through his insides, clenching down around Hamilton's cock.

"I don't want to be able to walk," Burr whispers, desperate, demanding, in Hamilton's ear, biting hard between words. "I don't want to be anything more than a loose, dripping hole."

But Hamilton is not doing enough, and Burr is so needy. He reaches between them again, grips around where Hamilton is penetrating him, gathers up slick and trails backward, rubbing over his hole and moaning.

[non_stop]

He never thought to see Burr so gone with need. Even when he supposed that Burr might be avoiding mention of his secondary gender, even when he concluded that this likely meant omega and meant that Burr would be reduced to this in heat --

God. If this is what Burr is like now, what would he be like, in heat? Maybe he truly doesn't know who the father is; maybe it took too many to satisfy him. Maybe he speaks like this because he is, in truth, bent to depraved desires. If he is, Hamilton wants to find them all. Lay them bare. Use them. And yet, what does it matter, if Burr is depraved? He has not sought out anyone since coming here, apparently even when he wanted so badly -- and he is under Hamilton's hands now, receiving his attentions with glorious enthusiasm.

His thrusts are rough; not as fast as they could be, but that means he can make them hard, fierce, making him feel as though he's fucking the air out of Burr's slim body.

"You are more already," he counters, deflecting Burr's searching hand and pinning it down, just to see if Burr thrashes for the extra stimulation, in need. "A hole can't beg for it. A hole can't cry from needing it so badly. A hole might have me as greedily as you -- like that, the way your cunt takes me, Aaron," and he says it like praise, while he fucks like violence, "but a hole couldn't debase itself the way you are." He crushes Burr's wrist to the bed. "Come on my cock or don't at all."

His knot is already starting to swell. He isn't gentle with it -- he persists in forcing it in and out of Burr long after he would ordinarily have seated himself secure within an omega's body. He has to manhandle Burr into place, keep him held down and force it brutally past his entrance the last time, and for a moment he doesn't think that Burr will accommodate it, but he does, he unwinds under Hamilton and Hamilton loses himself recklessly to the bliss of it, his seed joining the mess within Burr, the thick base of his cock swelling to lock them together, whether or not Burr can take it, now.

[slowtoanger]

Hamilton thrusts hard, jerking Burr's body up the mattress, and then he is pinned, held down as Hamilton fucks into.

Good, it feels so good, there are no thoughts, no words, just pleasure, waves of it, punctuated by each snap of Hamilton's hips, each punch of his cock against Burr's insides.

His legs are shaking, his mouth slack, drooling. He is babbling, but he doesn't know what he's saying, rubbing his ass against the sheets and trying to get more of something already bruising, already dangling on the edge of a beautiful pain.

"Come on my cock or don't at all."

And Burr's cock jerks, already hard past pain, the pleasure burning hot and tight inside him, building with every brutal punch.

Oh, but there is something else nudging against him, slamming against his entrance but not quite slipping inside.

Burr squirms against it, against the pain, but Hamilton holds him down, presses him hard into the mattress as the knot snaps forward, past the tight edges of his entrance and inside him, and then he is pulling it out as Burr sobs, no, no, another lost, pitiful whine as he thrusts is back in.

Hamilton is fucking Burr with his knot, fucking Burr with his knot and Burr didn't even know that was something a person could do, something his body could accommodate, but he is wild for it even still, for the wet, sucking sounds of that swell sliding in and out, for the sounds that fall from his own mouth, sobs and incomprehensible half words.

It hurts, a stinging, tearing pain, but it feels so good for that pain, and Burr never wants Hamilton to stop, wants to be nothing but an object for his use, kept here in bed, open and wanting for him to fuck into at intervals and leave like nothing.

"More," Burr cries, "more, more, more," but there is no more to give, and he is already tipping over, clenching down hard on everything Hamilton is giving him, his knot and the glorious length of his cock, spilling hot inside.

"Monty," Burr cries out, sobs out, lost and overwhelmed and face wet, riding out the waves of his orgasm, thrusting down weakly and squirming and spilling over him stomach.

His thoughts come back slowly, chest heaving, ruined. He is not with Monty, a devastation double-fold: Monty is dead. Monty is not buried in him, knotted in him.

[non_stop]

Under better circumstances, it wouldn't take Hamilton as long as it does to put the pieces together. The circumstances, though, are fairly poor: from the white-out pleasure of coming inside Burr's body to the perfection of Burr when he is completely devastated; the animalistic, instinctual high of his knot, swollen and pulsing as he comes, and comes, hard to breathe with how tight Burr is on him and how the sweet shivers of pleasure work their way through his body.

And, through all this, the wrong name filters into his conscious mind. His thoughts are sluggish, and narrowed to the intense need to care for the man that he's used so hard, but he understands.

"No," he murmurs, and he props himself up, unsteadily. He would have turned them over, let Burr go limp on top of him until this was over, but he can't, now that his protective instincts are flaring. The movement tugs on the knot, sends off another series of aftershocks within Burr, milking another surge in return out of Hamilton, bearing down like he could get, somehow, deeper.

"No." He cups Burr's face in his hand. "You're here, with me." Not with a dead general, as much as this explains Burr's behavior neatly and tidily. He doesn't mean to make the grief worse, but to draw Burr back into the present, extract him from a past that's reaching out with greedy fingers of pain to pull him under. "Say it, Aaron." He strokes Burr's flank, tips him up a little so he can reach far enough to kiss the tears off his cheeks, stroke fingers through his scalp. "I have you, you're safe. Say it."

He doesn't know what he's exhorting Burr to say. 'Yes, I'm here'? Hamilton's name? Agreement, confirmation?

[slowtoanger]

"Hamilton," he says, and his voice cracks, and he closes his eyes, breathes in roughly, buries his face in the spot between Hamilton's shoulder and neck. Breathing in his scent, alpha. Not Monty. Not Monty.

Hamilton is rubbing at Burr's scalp, and Burr can feel himself melting, hurt dripping out to be replaced with lingering pleasure, the buzz of their release not long ago.

He feels pleasantly used. Sore, ruined, as he had wanted to be. And something unfurls inside him, some desperate, needy, delicate thing, drinking in each small attention with a pain not unlike something verging on tears. Hamilton kissing his face, rubbing thumbs over his cheeks, like Burr is something precious. Like Burr is wanted.

His shoulders shake, his chest heaves. Burr shifts, pulling at the knot, stills and hisses. He's not sure he'll be able to walk after this, and even so his bindings are ruined, and he won't be able to fasten his pants. Maybe Hamilton planned all this for that reason, and he is still hollowed out enough for that to strike him with a jolt of fear, even as he knows it is ridiculous.

[non_stop]

"Alexander." But he doesn't insist on it. The hazy, lazy pleasure, like submerging in warm seas.

He rallies his strength one more time, and, as he originally intended, he carefully lifts Burr up against his chest and then turns them over, so Burr doesn't have to hold his legs around Alexander's waist and Alexander doesn't have to prop himself up anymore. He also grabs at the blanket he acquired, most of a month ago, and sort of shoves it at Burr for Burr to decide what to do with it.

And then he's back to the relentless campaign of petting and praising, stopping only to breathe in Burr's smell at the crook of his neck.

"You took all of that, I can't believe you, everything I had for you and you just took it," in little murmurs with the occasional brushed kiss. "Beautiful, and you're so strong, so graceful, you bend but you don't break," and similar idiotic nonsense. He wants to ask did I hurt you and are you all right but he's afraid the answers are yes and no in the wrong ways, and so he doesn't ask.

[slowtoanger]

The praise is too much, burning Burr's face red and he hides it against Alexander's chest. Too used to get hard again, though Hamilton's words send a frisson of pleasure through his gut. He snuggles down into the blanket, half-draped over them, closes his eyes.

'I could take more,' Burr wants to insist, 'from you,' but if feels the wrong thing to say, and Burr has always been more prone to silence over words.

Easy to fall asleep here, exhausted, aching. But the realities of their positions are too pressing to ignore. Washington will be wondering where they've been, likely had already been wondering. How long have they been here, how long have they been fucking?

"We need to report for duty," Burr slurs, even as he knows they will be trapped until the knot goes down. Does not want the knot to go down. Experimentally tightens those muscles to feel it still inside him, wiggling and shifting.

[non_stop]

Burr nestles into him, and Hamilton's words lapse, replaced by a soft purr on his next exhale.

"I was back a little early." This is true, but they've definitely blown through that time by now. Heh; blown.

The movement makes him give a little gasp, a little twitch. Not of pain. God, he wants this to last. "It won't be long." Already, he can feel the fierce throb starting to fade as the knot just starts to soften.

"I have string," he murmurs. "Can run it around your trousers, do up your jacket all the way. Go in to town. Hercules is at the shop where he apprentices." He has been thinking about that problem, too, in the last few minutes.

[slowtoanger]

"I'll look--" Burr pauses, flushes, "swollen, without the bindings. And if Hercules measures me he'll know, won't he?" And the pants won't last long, if Hamilton keeps feeding him. Maybe this is why so many omegas wear skirts and dresses.

He doesn't know what version of the truth he'll tell, because it won't be long before he must say something, the distribution of that swell not enough to be accounted by simple overindulgence. Well, overindulgence of food and drink, that is.

He shifts, feels Hamilton begin to slip free, and with it the rush of warm liquid between his legs, grimacing at the mess running down from him and dripping onto Hamilton.

What a mess. Both of them, a mess. He begins to pull off those bindings. Useless now for their original purpose, at least now they can be used to mop of the mix of liquids. The sheets will have to be washed, though. They smell too much of sex.

Oh, but he's rushing again, and Hamilton looks so beautiful, laying beneath him, hair tangled around his head and still flushed from exertion. Burr leans down and kisses him, slow--dragging lips against Hamilton's own and licking there at the seam.

[non_stop]

"Most people are idiots who won't notice," Hamilton points out. "Or they'll pretend not to. It's not polite to point out a man's swellings." He yawns, luxuriously, and only with reluctance feels himself go down enough to slip free.

He does feel a bit bereft as Burr starts to pull away -- but then he's distracted just by watching Burr, the lean lines of his body as he starts to clean himself up. He can look now. If he was allowed to touch, he has to be allowed to look his fill.

It's a pleasant surprise when Burr ducks to kiss him, and Hamilton opens to him, meets his tongue.

"And if Hercules does find out?" Hamilton asks, returning to the previous topic. "You shouldn't be ashamed." He hesitates, and presses on: "General Montgomery was a hero, too. His reputation is honorable."

[slowtoanger]

At the mention of Montgomery Burr's face falls, and he rolls away. Words at the tip of his tongue: we were engaged, just before they marched into battle, or he was a good man, or I loved him.

But he says none of these things. Instead he rises from the bed, wincing once and stumbling at the burn between his legs, leaning against the dresser to find a new pair of smallclothes, a shirt, stockings.

Hamilton did fuck satisfactorily, but perhaps they should talk about gentleness in future engagements, and not listening to Burr when he was half out of his mind with want. Future engagements, there might not even be future engagements. Burr will be swollen large enough soon to be grotesque, that affliction no longer ignorable.

"And I suppose there will be no consequences when I tell Washington his most disappointing and dislike aide is nearly four months along with a wedlock, bastard child?" Burr stops, looks at himself in the mirror, looks at Hamilton behind him, looking at Burr. Something swells in him, thicker and more acute than shame, deeper. He doesn't know why he says what he says, but the words fall numbly. "oh, I suppose I forgot he quite likes bastards."

[non_stop]

Hamilton finds himself smiling. Trying to hide it.

"Honestly, I'm loathe to break it to you, Burr," says Hamilton, "but you literally hate working for him."

And why should Burr? Washington is a great leader, but he has a temper, and his mistakes have been severe.

"And if you played the game," Hamilton tells him, "you would be fine. But, as it is, he can tell you don't want to be there, and he's worried he'll have another Joseph Reed on his hands."

It is possible, of course, that Burr doesn't know the whole story with Joseph Reed, writing letters to Charles Lee behind Washington's back.

The remark stings, its purpose fulfilled. But Hamilton is accustomed to pushing its like out of his mind. He sits up, watching Burr. "Please," he dismisses, "he only has eyes for his very precious Lafayette, whom he truly wishes was his son instead of that useless stepson that's been kicked out of two boarding schools now for idling, whoring, and gambling."

Again, entirely possible that Burr doesn't know about the second boarding school yet.

He reaches for his shirt, and has to puzzle out how he managed to get one half inside out and twice twisted around the other.

"And," he emphasizes, "I've already said there are obliging alphas everywhere." He doesn't meet Burr's eyes when he says: "The child doesn't have to suffer for the circumstances of its birth."

[slowtoanger]

"Obliging alphas," Burr snorts, "as useless as they are numerous, too. I'd rather the child grow up a bastard."

He buttons his shirt, sits on the edge of the bed to pull his pants up, struggling and wincing. God, he supposes he will have to see Mulligan, as embarrassing as that is. Will have to walk the whole of the way into town feeling the evidence of Hamilton's enthusiasm. But maybe he can buy another blanket as well, if there are any. Supplies have been disasterous the whole of the campaign, but the thought of a pile of blankets fills him with a kind of wild joy. Hormones, reducing him to a tottering idiot.

"Very well," he says, avoiding Hamilton's eyes. He doesn't know why the thought of finding an alpha has made him so depressed, but he doesn't want to be in the same room as Hamilton any longer. "I'll go into town, and you do whatever it is you do to gain me such leeway with the old fool."

[non_stop]

Once Hamilton has his coat back on, he kneels in front of Burr, gently straightening out the stockings, and then helping Burr get the trousers up. He sits back on his heels as he helps Burr with the stubborn boots: riding boots, of course, as is everyone's uniform, which means the damn things are trouble and a half to get on and off.

"I hope I didn't hurt you," says Hamilton, suddenly, as he tucks the trousers into the tops of the boots. Glances up to Burr. "Or, at least, that it did not displease you." He takes Burr's hand in both of his. "I meant what I said -- you have only to ask. I would not leave you unsatisfied." He holds Burr's gaze long enough to emphasize the words, and then, this time, kisses Burr's palm, and takes his leave.